My Anxiety is so Bad... (How Bad is it?)
It starts with some nausea in the pit of my stomach. Makes me shift uncomfortably in my spot. When I move, my shoulders shrug tensely, my hands unconsciously search for an object to fidget with and often finding the hem of my sleeve. The fluttering in my stomach moves up to my chest after a minute or so, the nausea turning to a tightness where it just slightly gets a little harder to breathe.
Whatever I’m doing must be super intense, eh? To spark these feelings?
This--the symptoms of my anxiety--can start up in me when I’m just reading or talking about anxiety.
I have to limit my reading of nonfiction books about anxiety or panic to half an hour on a good day. When talking about it, I often have to pause to take a few deep breaths, relax my shoulders, but even then I begin stumbling over words when I try to continue the discussion.
So why not stop doing that? Stop reading and talking about anxiety?
Well, for one, I am a huge advocate of talking, conversing, discussing mental health (if that wasn’t obvious from writing this or what I’ve been sharing lately on my social media feeds). My mental illness does not define me, but it is a part of me; it’s a part of me that I want to share because I am one of the many who struggle at times. I want to help people understand what mental illness and mental health is, what it’s like (#endthestigma, right?). So it’s healthy to talk about it.
Secondly, I love learning about myself. We’re constantly changing, so should be learning continuously as we change. When I am given a diagnosis, I don’t just shrug and accept it. I now learn about it; read about it to figure out what I’m dealing with and--most importantly--how to cope with it.
As I have mentioned, I may have to limit my reading to half an hour, but then I take time to reflect on what I read (#mindfulness), figure out if it’s helpful and resonates with my journey. Maybe work on the exercise expressed in the book. Either way, I absorb the information.
Books and people are the best sources when learning how to continue living my best life, despite mental illness. Realizing hey, I’m not alone, and these people still live life. They still smile, laugh, love, and are loved. There are good days, there are bad days; highs and lows are a more prominent note in my life. But with time, learning, and support, I will continue living my best life.
Whatever I’m doing must be super intense, eh? To spark these feelings?
This--the symptoms of my anxiety--can start up in me when I’m just reading or talking about anxiety.
I have to limit my reading of nonfiction books about anxiety or panic to half an hour on a good day. When talking about it, I often have to pause to take a few deep breaths, relax my shoulders, but even then I begin stumbling over words when I try to continue the discussion.
So why not stop doing that? Stop reading and talking about anxiety?
Well, for one, I am a huge advocate of talking, conversing, discussing mental health (if that wasn’t obvious from writing this or what I’ve been sharing lately on my social media feeds). My mental illness does not define me, but it is a part of me; it’s a part of me that I want to share because I am one of the many who struggle at times. I want to help people understand what mental illness and mental health is, what it’s like (#endthestigma, right?). So it’s healthy to talk about it.
Secondly, I love learning about myself. We’re constantly changing, so should be learning continuously as we change. When I am given a diagnosis, I don’t just shrug and accept it. I now learn about it; read about it to figure out what I’m dealing with and--most importantly--how to cope with it.
As I have mentioned, I may have to limit my reading to half an hour, but then I take time to reflect on what I read (#mindfulness), figure out if it’s helpful and resonates with my journey. Maybe work on the exercise expressed in the book. Either way, I absorb the information.
Books and people are the best sources when learning how to continue living my best life, despite mental illness. Realizing hey, I’m not alone, and these people still live life. They still smile, laugh, love, and are loved. There are good days, there are bad days; highs and lows are a more prominent note in my life. But with time, learning, and support, I will continue living my best life.
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